Pitter Patter

The sound you hear is the pitter patter of little carbon footprints.

It doesn’t take long nowadays to figure out that we have collectively lost our freaking minds. The ever increasing craze to measure the carbon emissions on everything from cricket farts to Google internet searches has reached a new level of insanity.

It’s not so much that we as adults have chosen with our own free will to go completely bonkers that bothers me. It’s that we have now elected to turn our preschool children into little carbon counting nit wits as well.

The new president’s two girls, along with the vast majority of other Washington DC school children, enjoyed that juvenile version of Nirvana known as a snow day thanks to a historically cold winter. At the same time Al “The Sky Is Falling But First It’s Going To Burn Up” Gore was making his well rehearsed pitch to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on the need to introduce a treaty to lower carbon emissions at the United Nations global conference in Copenhagen next December.

When it comes to the very stupid idea of cap and trade in carbon emissions, like the one being instigated by the new president, Al Gore is not a stupid man. Actually he is somewhat of a visionary. Not that he has a vision to save the planet, but in that he knows if he and his carbon cronies are able to convince enough people of the need to set up a carbon trade monopoly game, he can be the banker.

It’s actually the thing that dreams are made of. Create a bogus new unit of currency by developing a chic new fad, give it monetary value and then control that currency. If successful this hanging chad could be king the world, as long as the world IQ never surpasses that of a Ficus plant.

It became obvious to me that this carbon counting cult conspiracy is gaining ground when I read that Chicago will soon be home to one of the nation’s first eco-friendly daycare centers. The Little Green House is slated to open in the West Loop area this coming April. This center is part of the national Children’s Academies of America Corporation who is looking to plant these eco-babbling baby barracks all over the country.

The center’s claim to fame is in the use of non-toxic paints, PVC free toys, Energy Star appliances and an organic meal plan. They will be enrolling kids from 6 weeks to 5 years old and will be directing their activities in such a way as to mind meld the little ankle biters into a state of eco-consciousness.

First off I can’t imagine any new daycare that would use toxic paint. Second, I can’t see any daycare outside of China that would stock up on PVC material toys. Third, Energy Star appliances are basically everywhere. And finally I have seen little kids eat mud pies which are also organic. So it is not in what they are doing that makes them particularly eco-friendly, it is how they are advertising it that makes them unique.

The sad part for me is when I read the director say “It’s going to be very creative in how we tie the eco-friendly curriculum into the arts and crafts themes. We’ll do indoor gardens and go to the park and explore the parkland, not go to the swings.”

Low those many years ago in the dark ages when I was a little Big Frick we had our own eco-consciousness and energy conservation. I was constantly told to turn off the light when I left a room, close the door because we weren’t heating the whole neighborhood, don’t leave the water running, close the refrigerator door, pick up my garbage and turn off that damn TV. We made art projects out of dried leaves and sticks and planted just about every seed we came in contact with. We didn’t need to explore parklands, we explored everything, and we learned about nature and the great outdoors through scouting, before it became a homophobic taboo to be a boy scout.

Back then the backwards folks that were in charge of our well being understood that we were kids. And sometimes kids like to just swing in the swings or lie in the grass and do absolutely nothing constructive to save the planet.

It seems to me that kids today don’t have a chance. It’s gone from “Just Say No To Drugs” to “Just Say No To Everything”.

Maybe we all need to just take a minute to remember what it is to be a kid. There will be plenty of time for them to save the planet.

For the time being let’s just leave that to Superman and Wonder Woman.

Pushing a Scorpion

Pushing for peace doesn’t always work. Sometimes you have to fight for it.

President Obama has dispatched his special Middle East envoy George Mitchell to once again attempt the impossible. Mitchell said he would “vigorously push for peace” insisting that Hamas stops doing what they have always done and also insisting that Israel stops trying to protect itself from Hamas doing it.

The latest failure of the cease fire was brought about by Hamas when they once again planted bombs that killed another Israeli soldier. In response Israel took the logical step of sending in their superior military to answer force with force by bombing the well established system of tunnels Hamas has developed to smuggle in weapons.

After recently decimated Hamas in Gaza with three weeks of attacks and inflicting approximately $2 billion in damages Israel was under enormous international pressure to end their military strikes. The U.N. insisted that Israel cease fire and theorized that Hamas had come to the realization that they could not defend themselves against the Israeli army. Israel relented but a week later Hamas decided that they’d had enough peace and concluded that there is no sense in smuggling in weaponry if you’re not going to kill somebody with it.

It unfortunately comes as no real surprise as it was only hours after the end of hostilities with the smoke still rising from the bombed out buildings in Gaza that Hamas fighters were first seen waving their green Islamic flags and declaring victory over Israel. While it is impossible to understand this level of warped reality in the Hamas mentality (or lack thereof) it is fairly easy to predict. Just consider the most ill-advised thing that they could do and you can pretty much bet the farm that Hamas will do it or is at least planning it.

It reminds me of a fable I heard years ago about the frog and the scorpion: A frog was sitting on the bank of a river preparing to swim to the other side when a scorpion approached and asked if he could hitch a ride on the frogs back. The frog said “Are you crazy? You’re a scorpion; you will sting me and kill me if I let you get on my back”. The scorpion replied “Be realistic! I am not going to do that! If I sting you we would both drown.” The frog realizing the scorpion had made a good point agreed to let him ride across the river. The frog had swum about half way across when he suddenly felt the scorpion’s stinger pierce deep into his back. “Why” said the frog as the toxic sting began to take effect. “Now you’re going to die too”. To which the scorpion replied “I can’t help it, it’s who I am”.

Mitchell fresh off his lobbying efforts to vigorously push for peace in favor of the tobacco industry is now trying to broker a deal with the scorpion named Hamas. Having been a Washington DC lobbyist working for Big Tobacco certainly prepared him to deal with some fairly undesirable characters but the relationship most of the Middle East states have with the radical factions of Islam is impossible to overcome.

Hamas is being supported by the same governments that support Bill Clinton’s charitable foundation. As Mitchell returns to Washington to discuss his meetings with our new Secretary of State Hillary Clinton he will simply be reciting the Clinton Foundation mailing list.

This initial foray of Mitchell’s will offer America the first glimpse of the new mindset in the oval office toward Israel. The Bush administration developed the “road map” for peace which Israel abided by and Hamas did not. While George W publicly called for restraint on the part of Israel his administration was unwavering in its support. Obama promised that same unwavering support during the campaign, as did Clinton. We will now see if this support is also part of the change he promised.

Hamas will never willingly live in peace with Israel.

They can’t help it.

It’s who they are.

First Things First

First things first.

President Barack Hussein Obama chose his very first television interview as commander and chief to be with Al-Arabiya, the Arab satellite television network. The president felt it was important that he got his message of change out to the Arab and Muslim world with the line “My job to the Muslim world is to communicate that the Americans are not your enemy.” The statement was made in an effort to assure Muslims that Americans do not consider themselves to be the enemy. The obvious problem is that Muslims do.

Americans did not chose to be the enemy, Muslims chose us.

The jihad against America was called for and started by Muslims long before their attack on 9-11. We have been at war with them for over 30 years. The problem was we didn’t know it. So when the new CEO of the American military says that America has made mistakes but “that the same respect and partnership that America had with the Muslim world as recently as 20 or 30 years ago, there’s no reason why we can’t restore that” it should send a chill down every historically aware spine.

It was 30 years ago in November of 1979 that a group of Iranian “students” attacked and seized the American Embassy in Tehran. This act of terrorism was conducted only after another pacifist American president Jimmy Carter, led the way for the overthrowing of the Shah for alleged human rights violations and the empowerment of the radical Ayatollah Khomeini. That short sighted act allowed these “students” to conduct this act with complete Iranian governmental support.

In April of 1983 a truck packed with explosives blew up in the US Embassy compound in Beirut killing 63 people. Six months later a truck blew up the US Marines barracks killing 241 US military personnel. In December of 1983 another truck filled with explosives was driven into the US Embassy in Kuwait. In September of 1984 another attack on the US Embassy in Beirut. In April of 1985 a restaurant frequented by US military is bombed in Madrid Spain. In August of that same year a car filled with explosives is driven through the main gate at the Rhein-Mein Air Force Base killing 22. Less the two months later the Achille Lauro cruise ship is hijacked and an American in a wheel chair is chosen and executed. In April of 1986 TWA flight 840 is bombed killing 4 and Pan Am flight 103 is blown up over Lockerbie, Scotland killing 259. In February of 1993 the first attempt to bring down the World Trade Center is staged with a van filled with explosives detonated in the underground parking garage killing 6 and injuring over 1000. In November of 1995 a car bomb kills 7 military personnel in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. In June of 1996 another truck bomb destroys the US Air Force Khobar Towers barracks killing 19 and injuring over 500. In August of 1998 simultaneous attacks on US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania kill 224. In October 2000 the US Cole is attacked killing 17 US Navy Sailors.

Tell me Mr. President, is this the type of respect and partnership you are referring too?

President Obama is correct in that we cannot paint the entire Muslim world with a broad brush and assume that all Muslims are radical terrorists. But the narrow brush with which we can paint that faction whose sole purpose in life is to kill Americans is growing broader by the day because it is unchecked and in some cases protected by the peaceful factions that chose to not get their hands bloody.

Let us also not forget that every war we have fought against Muslims for the past 30 years has been a war to free other Muslims of radical oppression.

It’s apparent that history is not the long suit for President Obama. But one would have hoped he would have at least had time to read a newspaper.

The very last thing America needs is to go back to the same blind international policy of the Carter administration.

We got all the respect and partnership we could handle from that already.

A Politically Correct Lynching

“Take him back in the alley and lynch him”

A comment meant to be funny that turned into a national news story. It was made by the very uncontroversial Golf Channel commentator Ms. Kelly Tilghman in what she had hoped would be a light hearted means to describe the only way most PGA tour professionals could win against the almighty Tiger Woods prior to his knee blowing a fuse.

There was no malice in her comment. As a matter of fact she and Woods have a pretty friendly relationship. Even El Tigre himself said he understood the attempted levity and took no offense. But in an effort to avoid offending those desperately looking for something to be offended by in the more liberal, politically correct and humorless minded demographic faction of the Golf Central viewership, Ms. Tilghman was publicly flogged and given a two week unpaid suspension to reflect on her insensitive comment. If Golf Central had a blackboard she probably would have been forced to publically write “Lynching isn’t funny” several hundred times on it.

The national media had a field day with her relatively innocuous comment. In an effort to capitalize on the public fray and make some quick cash the editor of Golf Week magazine decided to print a noose on the cover of their magazine. It may have increased that month’s sales but it also cost the editor his job. “There is no place for this type of thing anymore in this country”, “This dredges up all those old feelings of segregation and hate”, “Grossly irresponsible”, “This is why we are known as the ugly Americans” were just a few of the self-righteous liberal media comments made about this farce.

This past Halloween the national news reported the story of a garbage truck driver who was fired by the city he worked for because he adorned the outside mirrors of his truck with little hangman nooses as part of his spooky Halloween decorations and another of a city employee that was suspended for putting a noose up in the public works garage as part of a Halloween joke.

The noose has been given a place in infamy now equal to the Nazi swastika. Blacks are repulsed by it because of its historic impact and whites are repulsed by it because they feel they need to show sensitivity to anything that upsets anybody.

That is why it came as such a shock to see it on E Bay. Not only a noose, but a noose hanging an effigy of an historic political figure. This display was being sold on E Bay after having adorned the house of the owner this past Halloween. The noosed effigy was not displayed in front of some run down doublewide trailer located in the backwoods hills of Dixie. No, it was prominently displayed amongst the upper-class homes in the gilded hills of West Hollywood, California.

There were no cries of outrage, no pickets, no NAACP rally held outside the yard. No Jesse, no Al, no Rainbow Coalition. Nope. Actually it probably would have gone completely unnoticed nationally had not the owner tried to sell the thing on E Bay.

Why no indignation at this display? Why would E Bay allow it to be displayed and sold on their site? Well it’s simple. The historic political figure being hung in effigy was not that of the first black president. It was of the first female vice president candidate for the Republican Party, Sarah Palin. And apparently that’s OK.

The news story that came out was not that this display had been in the owner’s yard or even that it was being sold on E Bay. The story hit the wires because the person who bought the effigy thought it was a tribute to Palin, and when he discovered it was in fact the lynching of Palin he backed out of the deal.

I wonder what would happen is someone put an effigy of Barack Hussein Obama in front of their house. Or even one that was supposed to look like Joe Biden. Any guesses? This lynching of Sarah Palin didn’t raise enough eyebrows to even cause a wrinkle in the well Botoxed foreheads of the residents in this West Hollywood neighborhood. The hypocrisy is almost a stunning as the self-righteousness.

The owner named Chad Michael Morrisette is a professional window dresser and is looking to garner around $2,200.00 for the Sarah Palin mannequin dressed in a red coat, wig and glasses.

I personally hope Mr. Morrisette gets a hundred times that amount.

And spends it all on medicine.

Ethel Merman Obama

Do you think the President is a big Ethel Merman fan?

Along with her famous rendition of “God Bless America” the Grande Dame of the Broadway stage is also remembered for belting out the lyrics to the Irving Berlin classic “There’s No Business Like Show Business”. Sing along if you know the words:

There's no business like show business. Like no business I know. Everything about it is appealing; Everything the traffic will allow. Nowhere could you get that happy feeling, when you are stealing that extra bow.

And after only a few days with the keys to the oval office executive washroom in his possession BHO Is indeed showing his passion for that appealing happy feeling of signing executive orders that are strictly for show.

He is well aware that it won’t matter if he doesn’t live up to the orders; nobody is actually paying attention at this point. He will have a number of love filled honeymoon months before what he says versus what he does begins to actually start to sink in amongst the adoring masses and the giddy press corps.

A Gallop Poll showed a 68% approval rating after his first three full days in office. I think that comes as no surprise to anyone. The chosen one could probably have dropped his pants and hung a moon at the inaugural luncheon without negatively affecting his popularity ratings. This president is such a celebrity that Gallop plans to release a daily tracking poll of his approval ratings as well as compiling an ongoing three day average. In the past Gallop has never polled more than once every two weeks. But they are in the polling business to make money and there is apparently sufficient customer demand for their data on a daily basis to make the daily polling profitable, once again proving John McCain's assurtion of Obama's celebrity status completely correct.

Only hours after his inauguration address in which he called for an end to partisan politics the Obama team released the new White House web site chastising the Bush administration for their broken promises and ineffectiveness.

BHO then went on to sign an executive order closing the Guantanamo Bay detention facility within 12 months without having any idea where to relocate some of the most dangerous men on the planet. In response to the question of where he replied that they were working on some plans and he would sign a new executive order once they had that plan worked out. That kind of thinking makes for a good photo op but pretty dangerous legal precedent, unless of course, the original executive order didn’t really matter.

After that he went on to sign an executive order to bring true and lasting change to the way business is conducted in Washington. He detailed this new ethics plan by stating “The executive order on ethics I will sign shortly represents a clean break from business as usual. As of today lobbyists will be subject to stricter limits than under any other administration in history. If you are a lobbyist entering my administration you will not be able to work on matters you lobbied on, or in the agencies you lobbied during that past two years. When you leave government you will not be able to lobby my administration for as long as I am president.” But less than 48 hours later he named William Lynn as Deputy Defense Minister even though Lynn was a lobbyist for Raytheon, one of the country’s biggest defense contractors.

The chosen one then recorded his first presidential radio address calling on the American people to support his one trillion dollar economic package even though the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office just released their report that the plan had no chance of making any impact prior to when the current recession is forecasted to abate. Less than half of this stimulus package would be spent prior to the end of 2010 when the president has promised to have created 4 million new jobs. Even some democrats are calling the plan a “giant slush fund”.

He’s brought in a tax cheat to head the Treasury and a guy who spearheaded the presidential pardon of the FBI’s number 2 on their ten most wanted list and the pardon of a dozen murdering terrorists from the FALN to head up the Justice Department. He also brought in a woman whose husband has and will continue to receive millions of dollars from Middle East terrorist supporting governments as the head of the State Department and now a defense lobbyist as Deputy Defense Minister.

Remember the good old days when the biggest ethics scandal was the deferred stock option payments Vice President Chaney was getting from Halliburton? And you thought no administration could possibly have more questionable ethics than that.

But as the Obama campaign posters promised: Yes We Can !!!

45 Caliber Limbaugh

Oh cry, you kids take a seat, eh.

I’m guessing that was the line used by teachers at the Edison Middle school in Green Bay as they began to listen to the school PA system piping in their local WTAQ radio station for coverage of the Obama presidential inauguration.

WTAQ is the local station that carries the Rush Limbaugh radio program for the greater Green Bay area. Either unaware of this fact or for some other reason the school chose to tune to WTAQ for the coverage. Having not been in Green Bay at the time I can’t say for certain that WTAQ was the only radio station carrying the inauguration, but my guess is that they could have tuned in the festivities on just about any frequency number up and down the AM dial.

Anybody familiar with the Limbaugh program knows that he often interjects his own comments into live feeds of news coverage. He has done it on numerous occasions in the past and as could be expected did the same during the swearing in ceremony.

As the young students, faculty and administrators listened to the oath of office being administered they heard Limbaugh make the comment “There it is, folks! There it is: history in the making, with a botched oath”. From the reaction that this comment has created throughout the mainstream media it is unlikely the Republic will be able to recover.

I do not agree with El Rushbo on everything he says or all the positions he takes, but I appreciate him above all other conservative commentators for two main reasons. First, I get the humor and tongue in cheek comments. It may be a little dry or wry for some people but I get it and I enjoy it. Secondly, and for me most importantly, Limbaugh and his staff are never short of facts. The opinions Rush proposes on his show are usually backed up by a cornucopia of facts, both current and historic, that support his viewpoint. I have never heard him raise his voice in anger or create a shouting match with his intended target or with someone expressing a dissenting view.

In stark contrast I hearken back to the sad display on the O’Reilly Factor between the host and Congressman Barney Frank. The shouting match that ensued made for a comical video clip but the entire purpose of exposing Frank’s responsibility for his videotaped support of the Democrat blocking of oversight into Fannie May and Freddie Mac was lost . I firmly believe had Limbaugh conducted that interview the American people would have been given an opportunity to see the truth rather than a school yard cat fight. But it is exactly for that reason Big Barney would never agree to an on-air interview by Limbaugh.

Limbaugh’s innocuous yet factual comment regarding the glitch in the delivery of the oath of office is being widely and wildly criticized by the majority of alleged news organizations. Limbaugh is being blamed for the fact that his radio program was tuned in and turned on as if it was done by his own hand.

I would hope that WTAQ was chosen as the Edison Middle School radio station of choice out of ignorance to the fact that it was actually the Limbaugh Show on the air. My fear is that there is a deeper ulterior motive.

I shudder to think that this may actually be used as a means to further promote the latest and greatest in free speech gun laws, the Fairness Act.

The inappropriately named Fairness Act is the Democrats attempt to silence free speech by forcing media outlets to “balance” conservative speech with an equal amount of liberal counterpoints. Never mind the fact that these media outlets are private enterprises that survive solely on advertising revenue, and if liberal talk radio was profitable they would already be doing it. If you don’t believe that liberal radio is a bad business model just look at the books of Air America.

The very un “Fairness Act” is like a gun law in that it assigns blame to the product and unconstitutionally attempts to restrict it. Democrats are desperate to silence dissent and will use any means necessary to do so. As we progress further into the new era of hopes and dreams that desperation will only increase as tangible results will replace rhetoric as the unit of measure of success.

To be sure, Rush Limbaugh is a powerful force with a far reaching influence. But his reach is not far enough to turn on the radio at Edison Middle School and his power is only in the facts he reports and ideas he presents.

For the record, the oath was both historic and botched. That’s why the new president took it a second time the next day.

The outrage should not be about what was said on the Limbaugh program, but rather why these educators are so upset by him simply stating a fact.

Seems kinda silly, eh.

Sing Along

OK, all you fellow Brenda Lee fans, sing along:

I’m sorry, so sorry. Please accept my apology. But love was blind. And I was too blind to see……..

The song is an absolute classic, as are most of the songs sung by sultry Ms. Lee. But it was being sung today before the Senate Finance Committee by a much less sultry Timothy Geithner. The committee is tasked with approving Geithner as the new president’s pick to head the Treasury Department.

After it was discovered that Diamond Tim had previously been caught by the IRS for failure to report income on his income taxes, it was also discovered that he was in default for the exact same offense for years not previously audited. Senate Democrats applauded Geithner's remorseful apology, but seriously what the hell else could the man do.

His apology was only half hearted at best in that it was more of an excuse than an apology. “These were careless mistakes. They were avoidable mistakes, but they were unintentional” said he. It makes me wonder if the careless part to which he referred was in not reporting the income or in getting caught. Either way he is correct on two of the three premises. They were careless and they were avoidable, but it defies explanation in calling them mistakes and he is being blatantly dishonest in saying they were unintentional.

Geithner is a really bright guy, having served on the board of the International Monetary Fund as well as working on Wall Street for a number of years. Once the IRS caught him the first time one would think a bright guy like that would have been able to figure out he needed to amend his previous returns with the same fraudulent income numbers.

This leads to a third possibility of the excuse/apology he rendered onto this kangaroo court. Perhaps what he was saying was he was sorry that he wasn’t able to foretell that he would be picked for a high government office so he figured it would be better to keep his mouth shut rather than opening a new can of penalty laden worms. Actually, had he said that I would have dropped all opposition to him just for showing he had the ability to be genuinely honest.

If he is confirmed, as it appears he most certainly will be, he will be in charge of the IRS. I wonder if he will institute a new policy by which anybody caught intentionally cheating on their taxes will be given the opportunity to refer to the previously federal offense as a mistake, make a genuinely disingenuous apology and move on with their life.

I am not naïve enough to believe that what Diamond Tim did was unusual by the standards of most wealthy individuals. I would venture to guess that many Wall Street executives could get an annual Pulitzer Prize for creative writing on their tax returns. What irks me far more than the offense itself is the constant insistence that Geithner and Geithner alone is just what the doctor ordered for the ailing economy. Republican Senator Grassley said he recognized that Democrats viewed Geithner as “possibly the only man for the job of healing the recession before us and a very fractured economy.”

To be sure he has the necessary experience and reputation to lead the Treasury Department through the rough waters the new president spoke of in his inauguration address. But he is not the only guy on Wall Street so equipped. There are a bevy of capable, experienced and well respected money men who could take this position and do an excellent job without the distraction of having been criminally negligent in personally maintaining the laws they will now be tasked with enforcing.

My question is why Geithner? Why not dump him as damaged goods and move on to a new pick?

Could it be that Geithner is one of the few guys qualified to head the Treasury that will publicly support the Democrats plan of throwing billions of tax dollars at politically motivated projects that will have very effect at actually bolstering the economy?

The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office released their report today projecting less than half of the $355 billion that House Democrats want to spend on highways, bridges and other supposed job-creating investments is likely to be used before the end of fiscal 2010. The CBO went on to say that the balance would likely be spent over the next several years, long after the recession is projected to end.

Maybe Geithner is the perfect guy for the job. He was able to tell the confirmation committee that his offenses were unintentional mistakes and keep a straight face. That’s just the kind of guy needed to sell this bogus political stimulus package to the American public.

Kind of reminds me of someone else. You know, that married guy that didn’t have sex with that woman.

I wonder what ever happened to him.

The Hope of Audacity

Hope springs eternal.

Unless you’re looking for results.

I may have discovered the major difference between me and the throngs that are swooning with the inauguration of Barack Hussein Obama. It comes down to hope.

The use of the word “hope” has played a huge part in the expeditious rise to power of this thoughtful self-biographing community activist. He made it a focal point by using the term in the title of his second book “The Audacity of Hope” and never missed a chance to invoke its magic powers in his campaign appearances.

As a crabby old white guy it would be impossible for me to fully appreciate the feeling of hopes and dreams come true for blacks in America having a man of color achieve what only a few decades ago would have seemed impossible. I can however in my own limited way understand the tears of joy as a black family watches this inauguration with their young children, realizing that maybe; just maybe, we have taken a giant leap toward equality for their future. But while this historic event may be the fulfillment of hopes, the reality of the accomplishment was not fulfilled by hope.

I dare to say that for many blacks, their hopes were fulfilled the moment this president took the oath of office. For them it is far less about what he is able to achieve as president than about what he has already achieved by becoming president. Unfortunately the inauguration euphoria won’t last for four years.

Most medical professionals who deal with those struggling with life threatening conditions will tell you that the ability for the patients to maintain hope is a vital addition to their overall recovery possibilities and continued well being. But unless you are speaking to a doctor that works directly for an HMO insurance company they will also tell you that hope is not a replacement for sound medical treatment. If hope was enough we could replace doctors with cheerleaders and catchy fight songs. It would however mean that a poor tumbling routine or dropped pompom could be considered medical malpractice.

There is a reason why we use the phrase “hopes and dreams”. They can both be classified as wishes. But wishing doesn’t make it so and neither will hoping or dreaming. The reality of the Obama presidency is that he is taking over as he put it “in the midst of crisis.” A crisis that can be credited in large part to the political party he will be depending on for support. But as it was their misdiagnosis of the problem and misguided treatment of the economy that led us to this crisis, continuing the charge in the wrong direction will do nothing to fix it.

To be sure there will be the usual finger pointing and blaming the Bush administration for all of the credit woes, but eventually folks will begin to realize that it was the Democrats who held the national purse strings for a full two years prior to the new administration taking over. And it will be the Democrats and their billions of dollars of wasted bailouts that will allow this crisis to worsen unless they come up with a new set of tools.

I want to jump headlong onto the hope bandwagon. But so far the results of the past bailout failures have given me nothing to jump about. Unless, as was displayed by the Inauguration Day 330 point drop in the Dow Jones Industrial Average, that jump involves a tall building and a window ledge.

The transition of power was seamless between the Bush and Obama administrations. But the inaction of the past several months due to an outgoing administration deferring to the wishes of the incoming administration coupled with a Congress that can’t get anything done we are now in worse economic shape than we were on Election Day.

In his inauguration speech our 44th President talked about using new tools to face new situations. But thanks to the controversial nature of his cabinet picks he can’t even get them confirmed and seated into their new jobs without controversy within his own party. He said “On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear”

I fear that this hope is what you get when there’s nothing else to get.

Nonsense Nonscience

On this, the first day of Barackus Maximus, I figured you might be a bit overwrought with BHO coverage so I thought I would write about something different. How about a big space fart!


Fellow scientists, intergalactic enthusiasts, space travelers, time lords and Vulcan mind melders.

Naa Noo Naa Noo

Welcome to the regular NASA Conclusion Jump for Funding meeting. Please take your seats. We have a lot to cover.

We have a new and exciting discovery that, if we play our cards right, can be used to garner more funds for the important work we are doing. As you know, with all the recent government cash being given to such foolhardy programs as freeing up the credit market, the Detroit automaker bailout, support for national security, infrastructure rebuilding and the school lunch program, we are very concerned that our future funding may not allow us to continue to send hundreds of millions of dollars worth of space hardware on missions to far away planets to take pictures of dirt.

You may recall a few months ago we were able to state with almost limited certainty that our most recent Mars rover landing was approximately a partially complete success for the few weeks we were actually able to communicate with it. We were also able to state that it had found what appeared to be the very core to the creation of all known life, ice. Yes, we were able to conclude that because the rover had found and taken pictures of something that looked pretty icy we could state categorically there might almost be a possibility that there just could be some proof of the likelihood that at some point we could find there had maybe been some form of life on Mars. And if not life, at least the possibility of margaritas. I know we don’t normally speak in such certain terms but desperate times call for desperate measures, and we figured “hell if we can get them to believe in black holes we can get them to believe almost anything.”

We are now pleased to release a 2003 report that proves we not only are almost able to possibly say there is life on Mars but that there may possibly be burritos as well.

In 2003 our scientists using three land based telescopes were able to confirm that nearly 21,000 tons of methane gas had been released into the Martian atmosphere. We did not immediately publish this report because we were unsure of the origin of the methane. But after years of exhaustive study we are now able to conclusively say that Mars appears to have smelt it and that therefore it was Mars that most certainly dealt it. As we have no evidence of any celestial finger pulling it is unclear as to the exact genesis of the gaseous explosion. But as conclusive evidence has never been our strong suit we are now pleased to say, through our spokesman Michael Mumma that “This raises the probability substantially that life was there or still survives at present”. We are also pleased that Indiana University professor Lisa Pratt was able to address the press and say that it was “more plausible that the methane came from some form of life than geological changes”.

While it is true that we have absolutely no previous experience in dealing with methane gas on other planets we are comfortable enough with our earthly experience, where the leading cause of methane is as a byproduct of digestion, to say that this must be true for everywhere else in the universe as well.

While some might say it would be impossible to conclude that anything could emit a 21,000 ton fart of methane gas as a byproduct of digestion let me just say that you have never met my old college roommate Michael “Stinky” Berwick.

Plus, this discovery allows us the ability to request funding for a new more targeted mission to return to Mars. Our new $50 million rover will be designed to traverse the most dangerous terrain of the Martian landscape and enable us to further our theory that life was created on its own and that inanimate objects have the ability to animate themselves. Please pay no attention to the scientists that claim that this methane came from other sources like comets or meteors. As we are all aware, there is no money to be had in that theory.

We will be using some of our existing budget to fund a research group tasked with exploring a place where there is a copious amount of ice and methane gas. That is why we are pleased to announce a mission to Cancun. As the information we need may take several months to gather we probably won’t be holding our regularly scheduled meetings for the foreseeable future.

I’m sorry I won’t be able to answer any questions. I have a plane to catch.

The Glory Train

End of the line!

The BHO Express having traversed 137 miles of countryside has arrived on track number nine in Washington DC. It seems like a pretty ostentatious display of energy waste for this stellar powered candidate and his commitment to conservation. But as has been the case for all of his campaign and the ravenous news coverage surrounding it, it’s all about the show.

By any standard this inauguration portends to be the most symbolic filled event Washington DC has ever seen. Even if some of that symbolism has to be crafted by the scores of PR publicists employed to spotlight each step in the march to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Every media outlet this side of Venus is preparing wall to wall coverage of the swearing in ceremony and all the gala events that follow. Some have even begun covering the coverage a full 48 hours before the big party is scheduled to start. Any criminally minded Californian could probably score enough ill-gotten gain to retire simply following a map of the stars homes as most of the Hollywood elite will be in attendance. All indications are that this will be an event suitable for, well, a superstar.

The McCain camp was roundly criticized for the now famous campaign ad pointing out the ludicrous celebrity status that this thoughtful self-biographer has attained. The ad even instigated nationally covered commentary by that gold standard of political pundits, the little boy Paris Hilton. The scary part is that every move made by the incoming president has only gone to further substantiate the ads correctness rather than dissuade its premise.

But after the last balloon has been popped and the last scrap of confetti has been swept we as a nation will be left with a complete novice as our 44th President and the leader of the free world. He will be supported by a cast of cabinet characters that appear eclectic at best and downright dangerous at their worst. They will all be propped up by a dysfunctional Democratically controlled House and Senate whose foremost focus will be on how to best retain this awesome power through the 2010 midterm elections and the 2012 general election.

To be sure there will be enormous challenges awaiting this new administration and I pray that our new president and his advisors are up to the challenge. But the fear is in the unknown, and as this new president has absolutely no record by which to forecast his performance, the unknown is the largest part of this equation.

The Obama campaign was the epitome of a “say anything” campaign even contradicting their own statements on the same day at different speaking engagements. The unknown is in how they plan to replace rhetoric with action and instead of talking about dreams actually fulfilling some that don’t involve getting elected.

Certainly there will be an extended “honeymoon” period for this historic administration as pundits and populace alike draw on comparisons to the Camelot era of the Kennedy White House. The press is preparing a love fest of epic proportions as indicated by the January 18th Sunday Chicago Tribune which carries the prophetic banner headline “Bound for Glory” before the new messiah has even spent one glorious day in office.

The early moves made by this president will be critical in showing the direction this administration plans to take and in demonstrating to the world that we do indeed have a strong, firm hand on the rudder of state. The legacy of Barack Hussein Obama will be far less about the historic nature if his inauguration and far more about his ability to lead the country and this very dangerous world we live in through some very rough waters. Glory is easy to predict but much harder to attain.

Early indications are troubling in the discussion of actions to be taken in the closing of Guantanamo Bay. The president and his pick for the head of the Justice Department have both stated unequivocally that they plan to close the facility. But when the question comes as to where they plan to relocate the murderous Islamic radicals housed there they return to the tried and true smoke and mirrors that worked so well during the campaign. The fear is not in them closing the facility but rather in them setting a precedent as to how these terrorists will be handled in the future. Smoke and mirrors just won’t work very long when the measure of success switches to results, or the lack thereof.

This president has the ability to make me and a bevy of conservative analysts look like complete fools and I actually hope and pray he does.

But if his cabinet picks with all their negative results of past actions in the Clinton administration and this Gitmo discussion are any indication the fools could be of a far more historic nature.

True glory is bestowed upon those who earn it, but rarely on those who seek it.

Change

Change.

It is the topic of numerous talking head discussions. It is the mantra of the masses. It is the promise of things to come in Washington DC.

In his final national address President Bush signed off as Commander and Chief and began the process of turning over the reins of power to the Commissioner of Change. The 44th president will be inaugurated in just a few days bringing with him a cosmic popularity rating and a voter approved mandate of change. Political pundits will spend the coming months continuing to debate what the Bush legacy will be. Knowing the blatant disdain most of the press has for GWB they will focus their attention on the negative. Many will focus on the current economic conditions as being the number one topic most folks will remember him for. Some will center their attention on the length of the Iraq War and a few will spotlight elements of work undone or at least unfinished like social security reform or renewable energy. But if change is what the huddled masses are truly yearning for all they have to do is look around.

Since September 11, 2001 this country has seen nothing but change. I am old enough to remember the days when families would go to the airport as spectators to a sporting event and watch planes fly in and take off. I can recall when you could transfer assets with your financial advisor without sixteen kinds of federal government oversight or when you could walk into a court building without a full body cavity search.

Certainly we saw many changes being instituted into our security practices prior to the 9-11 attacks. But since that fateful day change has been multiplied exponentially in almost every facet of our daily existence. Change has become so commonplace that it is difficult sometimes to remember what it was like before our world changed that September morning.

Sometimes as I’m standing in line for the security checkpoint at the airport preparing to take my shoes off, remove all metal items from my pockets and place all liquids from my carry-on in a clear plastic bag on the x ray belt I wonder if the terrorists have already won. They have indeed forced change into the activities of our daily lives and have changed the national mindset. And isn’t that actually the goal of a terrorist? To inflict terror that changes lives and thought?

But then something happens, as it did in New York, and the real impact of change can be clearly seen. US Airways Flight 1549 took off out of New York’s LaGuardia Airport bound for North Carolina. After striking a flock of non-terrorist related birds the aircraft lost power and was forced to ditch into the frigid Hudson River putting the 155 souls onboard in definite peril.

But almost as this jetliner slid to a halt in the water a battalion of civilian boat operators were heading for the sight to pluck the passenger off the wings and bring them safely to shore. New York’s first responders were there with a remarkably well planned, practiced and executed rescue plan and New York hospitals were put on high alert to receive and treat the possible victims.

The events that happened after that plane touched down are clear reminders that we have indeed changed. We have not folded as the terrorists expected. We have not succumbed to fear. We have gotten better.

Never again will passengers allow a handful of murderers take over their airplane. Civilians will not sit idly by and wait for someone else to respond to an emergency situation. Our first responders are better trained and our emergency systems have never been more cohesive. Our country has always had its share of heroic individuals, but we have become unified in our spirit and resolve.

Perhaps history will show us that it was President Bush that led us through the most significant era of change our country has known. Not the kind of change that can be legislated from Capitol Hill but a change in our national conscience.

The 9-11 terrorists did not change us as they had hoped to, they only made us stronger.

Abusing Non-surviving Equine

“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse” – King Richard III

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which prevents it from betting on people” – W.C. Fields

“Yippee we’re getting a pony” – Barack Obama

“Bring to me your deadest horse that I may continue to beat the snot out of it” – Big Frick

Ok, so I have been commenting a lot lately on the picks that our incoming president has made for his soon to be cabinet of change. I am truly praying for his consummate success, although one might reasonably and correctly assume that I am less than impressed by some of the rouges gallery he has chosen and flat out scared to death by others.

Let’s take a quick review of some of my past concerns before we move on to the new debacles.

Hillary Clinton is a slam dunk to be confirmed as Secretary of State. This even after it was discovered that her husband’s “charitable” organization took in a little over $500 million from Middle East countries whose sole mission in life is the destruction of Israel. If I was an Israeli resident I would worry more about that than the Hamas mortars that rain down regularly. It was disclosed that in order for Hillary to get approval Bill has agreed to have all future contributions from these terrorist driven states approved. The problem is that the approval will be at the discretion of the State Department where Hillary will be the Big Kahuna. This arrangement is like putting Barney Frank in charge of passing out towels in the YMCA mens locker room. It ain’t gonna work out in the end, if you know what I mean.

The next pick was the completely unqualified political hack Leon Panetta as head of the CIA. His sole qualification was that he previously read security briefs while serving as Clinton’s Chief of Staff. That’s like saying a guy can be a major league pitcher because he reads the sports page and makes about as much sense. Besides, it has become apparent that a vast number of DC residents handled some of Clintons briefs whilst he was Commander and Chief, security and otherwise.

The Messiah then chooses Eric Holder to head up the Justice Department even though it was Holder who spearheaded the effort and successfully obtained the very unjust pardons from then President Clinton for convicted murderers from the terrorist group FALN. Holder also played a key role in the institution of the “wall of silence” between security agencies that aided and abetted the 9-11 attackers. To join Holder He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken then taps Dawn Johnsen as head of Legal at the Justice Department. Ms. Johnsen proved her complete disdain for anything resembling justice with her ranting defense of Islamic terrorists and wild unfounded accusations of American cruelty toward captured prisoners.

While American Jews amazingly and overwhelmingly supported BHO in the recent presidential election the Jewish World Review in Tel Aviv is already calling for him to rescind these disastrous security picks or they vow an organized rebellion against him. They rightfully view these picks as a very real threat to the security of Israel and America as well.

Now comes Timothy Geithner as the head of the Treasury Department. It is being revealed that old Tim didn’t pay a portion of his income taxes for 2001 and 2002. Harry Reid and the rest of the suddenly forgiving Democrats are lined up holding hands, signing Kumbia and defend this prosecutable offense by saying it was an “honest mistake”. Senate leader Reid called it “a few hiccups” after it was also revealed that Geithner had already been caught by the IRS for not paying income taxes on income earned from 2003 and 2004. The “honest mistake” covering 2001 and 2002 was again apparent and only discovered through the cabinet post vetting process. My question is, wouldn’t we want a Treasury Secretary that was bright enough to check his own taxes for those years after being caught for failure to report the income for the others? He had to know he was doing it wrong. I’m guessing a part time rookie intern at H & R Block could have figured that one out. "It's such a basic mistake that I kind of wonder if we know all the facts," said Tom Ochsenschlager, Vice President of tax for the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants. I guess those CPA’s and IRS auditors just have don't have the same wacky sense of humor when it comes to submitting fraudulant numbers on your tax forms as the incoming president and Congressional Democrtas have.

This brings us to the latest revelation regarding the choice of Mary L. Schapiro to head up the Securities and Exchange Commission. It seems Ms. Schapiro is currently being sued in federal court for knowingly making false statements regarding the merger of the regulatory units of the New York Stock Exchange and the NASD two years ago. Ms. Schapiro was then head of the NASD, and spent months traveling the country to persuade its 5,100 members to support it. Ms. Schapiro has never let the truth get in the way of a good story so she may have repeatedly made some known factual errors in her explainations. The merger proceeded successfully and created a new self-regulatory organization, the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, or Finra, where Ms. Schapiro is now the chief executive. The Securities and Exchange Commission where Ms. Schaprio is slated to take over relies on Finra to police Wall Street.

The merger also netted Ms. Schapiro a 57% pay raise from a paltry $2 million per year to $3.1 million per year. Her lawyers have been fighting vigorously to keep the information about the two suits she is named in under seal. But as her misleading statements involved IRS policy a judge recently released the information.

Oh yes America! Change is coming.

I think I’d rather take my chances in that locker room. At least I might get a Valentine out of the deal.

Requiem for a Friend

Goodbye old friend.

We’ve been together for a long, long time. So long that it’s hard to remember a time when we weren’t together. Outside of my mother and my sister you and I have been together longer than any other relationship I have ever had in my life. I’ll bet you and I have spent time together almost every day for over 40 years.

Way back in the beginning you would always hang out with the cool crowd and I always had a rebellious spirit so we got along just fine right from the start. Over the years you have been with me to help celebrate all the good things that have happened and you have been there to help ease my burden through some pretty rough times too. I have carried you close to my heart every day, rain or shine. And I could always depend on you to give me exactly what I needed. You were there for me from morning till night. We had breakfast, lunch and dinner together and sometimes even a midnight snack. You helped me decide what clothes I would buy, what cars I would rent and even what hotel we would stay at. You influenced my decisions in where we would go and how long we would stay. What restaurants and clubs we would frequent and which ones we would avoid. To say you were a big part of my life would be an understatement.

But the time has come for me to go my way and you to go yours. It’s not you. It’s me. I wish I could say that I don’t like you or I don’t need you anymore, but that just wouldn’t be the truth. I can’t say that I’ve outgrown our relationship, it’s just that I have changed.

It’s not that folks look askant at us whenever we’re together. You know I never cared about that. It’s not that most of my friends wanted to quit hanging around with you years ago. I never really cared about that either. It’s not even that you have a tendency to smell like an unwashed dog, because I guess I’ve just gotten used to you over the years.

It’s just that, well to tell you the truth, I’m sick and tired of you making me sick and tired.

Oh sure, you still can, as Jerry Lee Lewis sang, leave me breathless. And there is no doubt that at times you still make my heart skip a beat. But I have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes those are not positive qualities. And in our relationship that is especially true.

I don’t care that you’ve become pretty high maintenance. We’ve been through too much to let money come between us. It’s that I’m just not getting back from you all that I’m putting in. I wish it wasn’t the case but it is.

So my oldest friend I have to say goodbye. I don’t know why it’s so hard. You’re just a stupid cigarette. But it is. I wish I could just say I have had enough, I can’t take anymore and that would be that. But it never seemed to work that way all those times before.

I’m leaving you and I’m ending this ridiculous merry-go-round for good. That's it. There is no talking me out of it.

OK, so maybe not today, but soon.

I hope.

Posters

“What if they had a war and nobody came?”

Excuse me whilst I wax poetic. I remember the opening quote from a very popular poster that could be found almost everywhere during the 1960’s. For the thousands of younger people who read this, the 1960’s was a time before the younger generation felt compelled to get their catchy slogans permanently tattooed on their still elastic skin and simply hung it on their wall. The whole tattoo thing didn’t really catch in until “Keep On Truckin” became the mantra of the day. Today there are a plethora of mid 50’s to early 60 year olds walking around with the Robert Crumb character that probably trucked to nether regions years ago.

I recall that even as a young man I found the “nobody came” antiwar poster to be about as stupid as it was sappy. The obvious premise of the poster was that if nobody fought there would be no war. It sounds like a pretty simple plan unless you let that damned reality into the equation. The real phrase should have been “What if you had a war and only one side fought?” That’s a little more realistic and has a completely different outcome.

Unfortunately that is the direction our country appears to be heading. We are about to inaugurate the most inexperienced human being to ever take up residence on Pennsylvania Avenue who appears to believe that if we just don’t play the bad guys will take their ball and go home. With the exception of Robert Gates as Defense Secretary the new president has filled his cabinet posts with politically motivated leftists that will most assuredly abandon every policy and tactic that has kept this country safe from a post 9-11 attack and replace them with a pacifist wish list based on the unfortunate misconception that diplomacy is the solution to death threats.

The Chosen One recently chose Eric Holder as his Attorney General even though Holder approved the wall of silence between intelligence agencies during the Clinton administration causing the fatal flaws in information gathering that allowed terrorists to fly planes into buildings. If that is not proof enough of his short sightedness Holder was also the lead protagonist in getting then President Clinton to pardon murderous members of the Puerto Rican terrorist group FALN.

Serving under Holder will be BHO’s newest pick of Dawn Johnsen as head of the Office of Legal Counsel in the Justice Department. Johnsen has been a demanding that the U.S. close Guantanamo Bay since the U.S. opened Guantanamo Bay. She has also consistently claimed that the U.S. was involved in illegal and torturous acts in its treatment of some of the most dangerous killers on the planet.

Couple these two picks with Hillary Clinton doing his bidding as Secretary of State and Leon Panetta doing God knows what as head of the CIA and you’ve got all the makings for an Al Qaida sweep in the recent election.

I was recently reminded of the extreme measures the U.S. undertook to keep the country safe from the Russians and Chinese during the late 1950’s and early 1960’s. The pacifist poster printers were talking about a war that nobody would attend but fortunately our presidents and congress were a little more realistic. The threat is no less real today than it was then. What scares me is that the poster printers are now in charge of our defense and a snappy sappy slogan just ain’t gonna cut it.

But if you’re looking for the new poster slogan anyway I may be able to help.

“One Al Qaida Special – Death to America – Free Delivery Available”

Sticks & Stones

What was that we used to say about sticks and stones?

If you take even a quick look through the international news stories on a daily basis it would be impossible to miss reading about some new form of senseless violence and death somewhere in Pakistan or some terrorist act carried out in one of their neighboring countries originating out of Pakistan. The majority Sunni Muslims and the minority Shiite Muslims are always looking for new and exciting ways to kill each other. Men, women, children, it doesn’t matter. If it draws breath someone is looking to kill it in the name of their own Muslim sect.

Literally thousands of Pakistani Muslims have been killed over the past few years by other Pakistani Muslims because they didn’t go to the same masque or follow the teachings of the same leader and thousands more have been killed through the collateral damage. It wasn’t very long ago that they actually used sticks and stones to break each other’s bones but thanks to the likes of Osama bin Laden and his Taliban of merry men hiding out in the remote mountains of Pakistan they have progressed to more advanced methods of homicide.

And their mayhem is not confined to the boarders of Pakistan. These murderous zealots are all too happy to bring death and destruction to the citizens of Afghanistan, India and elsewhere as well. These lethal attacks are organized by Muslim clerics, sects and even fake charitable organizations within Pakistan. But is the press focused on these attacks or their inciters? Nope. Their focus is on a member of the British aristocracy and his privately taped comments from 2006.

Back in 2006 as a member of the British military Prince Harry was taped by one of his fellow service members using the term “paki”.

Stop the freaking presses! What a scoop! What a tragedy of epic proportions! What a crock!

Bonny Prince Harry is heard on the tape referring to a colleague as “our little paki friend”. The recent revelation of this comment has now been spread by the ravenous press around the world to the point where the Pakistani government is being called upon by Muslims from the four corners of the planet to institute a formal investigation. And I thought Illinois Governor Big Rod Blagojevich was the master if deflecting focus from real issues.

Prince Harry also used the very PC incorrect term of “raghead” to describe a cadet who was wearing a scarf on his head. I understand that this is a derogatory term for someone wearing a turban, but in the conversation in which it was used it was not directed at a Pakistani but rather a Brit who happened to have a rag on his head. Without spending a lot of needless energy trying to defend these comments my question is do they need to be defended?

The outrage being mustered and publicly displayed by these words is nothing more than a convenient deflection of the spotlight from the debase actions of the Pakistani terror brigades. The Prince is not a political force in Britain nor does he have any say in the country’s foreign affairs. If the Pakistani’s are going to be outraged by the use of “paki” than should the British soldiers be equally outraged by the term “Brit” or the Australian soldiers by the term “Aussie”? I don’t even want to begin going through the list of names being used for the American soldiers.

Mohammed Shafiq, director of the Ramadan Foundation, a British Muslim youth organization, said "Harry, as a public figure, must ensure that he promotes equality and tolerance and this rant, whether today or three years ago, is sickening and he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself".

Shame is indeed one way to deter unacceptable actions. My surprise is that Mr. Shafiq or any other prominent Muslim figurehead didn’t feel the need to publically call for it against the Pakistani terrorists that slaughtered 164 innocent people in the recent Mumbai India attack.

Mr. Shafiq and all those who will try to use this to stoke the flames of decent within their gullible Muslim followers need to follow their own suggestions.

There is plenty of shame to go around here.

Hey, Repo Man!

“The long and winding road…………………..”

It has indeed been a long journey with many twists and turns but we as a people have finally arrived. It is official. No longer can the point be ignored or debated. We the people instead of creating a more perfect union have simply gone bat shit crazy.

I have suspected that this was the case for some time now, and have witnessed a number of examples that almost convinced me. But the story today removed all doubt. Perhaps instead of ruing this rise in our national insanity we should take pride in it. We could come up with a cheer and maybe some of those big foam finger pointing hands reveling in the fact that Americans have indeed become the wackiest people on planet earth.

Our story begins with an act of supreme love. Dr. Richard Batista of New York was married to his loving wife Dawnell when she became very ill. Dawnell is the mother of their three children and in order to save her life the good doctor, in an act of unbridled love and generosity, donated one of his kidneys to be transplanted into his ailing spouse. The operation and transplant were a complete success and Dawnell recovered completely.

I do not know Dawnell personally, but I do know that she is indeed a loving woman. Unfortunately for Dr. Batista, perhaps a bit too loving. He discovered several years after the 2001kidney transplant that his wife had recovered sufficiently to be loving a new man and was carrying on a rather torrid affair.

Crest fallen, as one might expect a man in the doctor’s position to be, Dr. Batista was even more devastated when the ungrateful, but apparently still loving somebody else, wife served him with divorce papers. "There's no deeper pain or betrayal from somebody you loved and devoted your whole life to," the doctor was quoted as saying.

So far our story is sad and unfortunately all too common, but here is where the tale takes the turn that puts us over the top beating out all comers as the world’s nuttiest nation.

The doctor has now filed suit in court to get his freaking kidney back! Wow, talk about a repo! It appears that poor Richard simply doesn’t want his kidney sleeping with another man. I wonder if the soon to be ex-Mrs. Batista will have to pay depreciation.

Having been through the rigors of divorce court myself I can attest to the fact that in many cases body parts are lost as part of the settlement. In my case it was an arm and a leg and few other vitals that, while missed, have allowed me to hit the high notes in most of the songs on the Jersey Boys soundtrack.

At least for the time being Dr. Batista appears sane enough to understand that it is unlikely the court will order his slightly used kidney to be ripped out of his once betrothed. In lieu of his pound of flesh, or whatever the average kidney weighs these days, the doctor says he will settle for the paltry sum of $1.5 million. I can imagine that if he is successful his ex would then petition the court for an increase in her alimony to pay the debt reaffirming the old adage “Be careful what you wish for.”

All in all it remains proof that we have become completely out of our ever loving minds. It also proves that no idea is so absurd that a good $250 per hour divorce attorney can’t make worse. Or at least book a considerable number of billable hours trying.

Someone needs to have a heart to heart with Dr. Batista and let him know that while he may not be better off without his kidney, he is far better off without a woman who would rather share the love. He also needs to understand that it’s better to lose a kidney than it is to lose your mind.

Unfortunately it appears it may be too late for either one.

Unattractive Opposites

You might want to sit down for this.

According to reports that are circulating it appears that the incoming president may actually make a really smart move. There I said it.

Reports indicate that the soon to be prez may be listening to some sound advice from the financial team he has assembled and is now looking at both personal and corporate tax cuts as a sizable part of his stimulus package.

Tax cuts are always the best stimulus because there are no ear marks or pork barrel projects involved. Leaving people with their own money is better than sending it to them in the form of a check and allowing businesses to take bigger tax breaks, some of them retroactive, is better than bailing them out with government handouts. These retroactive corporate tax cuts could be especially beneficial to banks allowing them more capital to lend and easing some of the current credit crunch.

It appears that the community activist turned messiah is willing to at least postpone some of the class divisive tax increases he had proposed during the campaign. Instead of ending tax cuts as he so often promised, he may actually increase them. It remains to be seen if these cuts will be actual cuts in taxes of taxpayers or if they will be part of his Orwellian new speak tax code where taxes are cut for people who don’t pay any taxes. But for now at least it appears that BHO is willing to differ his complete inexperience on economic matters to those that know dollars from sense. It also remains to be seen if the Democratic controlled House and Senate will allow him to limit their ability to stimulate the economy using the Charlie Rangel method of building libraries and highways to their own honor.

Unfortunately the President-Elect is less open to some common sense suggestions when it comes to his choices for cabinet picks directly related to our nation’s security.

After naming Hillary Clinton to serve as Secretary of State, even after having discovered her husband has some questionably cozy deals with most of Israel’s sworn enemies in the Middle East, he now chooses an even more unqualified Clinton political hack in Leon Panetta as Director of the CIA. The coded response from most of those familiar with intelligence and the threats we face from determined jihadists has been a resounding “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!”

Senator Diane Feinstein, who has spent most of her political career in lockstep with the Democrats, will chair the Senate Intelligence Committee (oxymoron alert) tasked with confirming this absurd pick. She outwardly showed initial dismay at the remarkably unintelligent choice of a neophyte to head our nation’s top intelligence group. She has since recanted after getting “the call” from the Chosen One obviously explaining the folly of her resistance.

The danger to our country’s security due to the inexperience of the new Commander and Chief is becoming bone chillingly clear. The main defense of this pick is that Panetta spent time reviewing intelligence briefings as White House Chief of Staff with then President Clinton. And that he will be able to maneuver in political circles to enhance the reputation of the CIA.

The fatal mistakes in the area of intelligence made during the Clinton administration culminated with the deaths and devastation of September 11th. Instead of learning from those mistakes this new administration is recalling the authors for a sequel. Every brick in the wall of silence between intelligence organizations, every bit of misinformation and incomplete information that it caused is directly attributable to the decision made by the Clinton administration, and now we are offering those misguided ideas coupled with the pabulum of this new president a curtain call.

The incoming president has repeatedly discussed his disgust for some of the rarely used and most extraordinary tactics used by our intelligence community since 9-11. The only thing he has not condemned were the results. Let us never overlook the fact that we have been free from terrorist attacks for 7 years and not through any lack of trying on the terrorist’s part.

Tax cut stimulus for the economy – Good

Panetta CIA Director as stimulus for jihadists - Deadly

When Harry met Roland

Welcome to “When Harry met Roland.”

Federal prosecutors have been granted an extension in their filing of charges against Illinois Governor Big Rod Blagojevich. The press is all atwitter at what this could mean to the successful prosecution and possible conviction of the now tainted Democrat. Rumors are swirling like Ted Kennedy’s ice cubes at the possible reasons for the delay.

Through it all, so far, the Chicago Tribune has been able to avoid any accusing fingers from the media fray. It was in fact the Tribune that at first did their civic minded duty and withheld their story on the prosecutor’s covert wiretaps and then for some inexplicable reason decided to go to press before any deal could be consummated. Their actions certainly leave many an enquiring mind like mine to question how they got this very secret story in the first place and what they knew when they decided to go to press. I believe Illinois citizens deserve an investigation into whether or not the Tribune was protecting somebody by effectively ending an investigation just when it was getting interesting.

The reason stated by the prosecutor’s office for the requested delay is that they have hundreds of hours of taped conversations and they need the additional time to sort through all of it. These tapes may soon be released to the public which pretty much quashes that excuse. Is it possible that some of the folks on the tapes are applying pressure to make sure their conversations are accidently deleted or not used at all?

Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid may be one of those who would rather not have his words quoted. According to early reports Senator Reid is heard on the tapes directing Big Rod as to who would be a more acceptable candidate and who would not. On the list were five names, three black men and two white women. Senator Reid is now in the unenviable position of hearing his voice directing the Gov to appoint one of the white women and exclude the black men, including the eventual assignee Roland Burris.

His reasoning was simple. The white women stood a better chance of getting reelected in two years than the black men did. How very interesting. After the 125% turn out of black voters in the historic presidential election Senator Reid doesn’t think a black will be electable in two years. It had nothing to do with qualifications or voter sentiment. It was a black and white decision.

Could it be that Senator Reid is looking into his crystal ball and doesn’t like what he sees for the next two years? Could it be that he expects the joyous jubilation of a black president to be somewhat tainted after his first half term? Could it be that the nebulous promise of change without definition may come back and bite the Democrats in the seat of their finely tailored pants? Perhaps Senator Reid and the Democrats realize that when blacks discover that they will still need to pay their own mortgage payments and buy their own gasoline in two years they will be less likely to participate in the electoral process.

One would think that the messianic rise of the incoming president would lead to a new age of black participation in the equal opportunity Democratic Party. One would apparently be as wrong as Senator Reid’s 2008 assertion that the Iraq war was already lost.

Democrats have had the black community in their hip pocket for years. Much like an expensive antique pocket watch that doesn’t keep time anymore, they kept them for their value and pulled them out only for show but otherwise had no real use for them. It is obvious that now that blacks have truly made that trip over the mountain top to the Promised Land the Democrats have no idea what to do with them.

The black community led by boisterous black leaders are now calling the Democrats refusal to seat the newly Blagojevich appointed black Senator Roland Burris as an act of racism. Democrats being accused of racism? Has hell actually frozen over?

I predict that Roland Burris will eventually be seated and will serve out his two year term without being invited to a single men’s smoker much less a committee assignment greater than vice chairman of the committee to pick up Harry Reid's dry cleaning. The calls of racism will subside, but only for a while. The equal opportunity Democrats will now be held to a higher standard than ever before in their dealings with the black community. The black community feels their time has come.

If the recent display of the barred Senate doors for the arriving Roland Burris is any indication, Senate Democrats are looking at a different clock.

Who Knew

Who knew?

I recall back in October or November of 1987 my adorable first born Jessica said to me in her best fake sincere voice “Daddy, you don’t have to buy me anything for Christmas. All I want is an Apple 2GS for my birthday.”

Not knowing an Apple 2GS from an apple fritter I asked her to explain what this cryptic request meant. She went on to explain that an Apple 2GS was a computer and that she used one at school and if I wanted her to do well and be able to succeed in her studies I needed to buy her one for her upcoming 10th birthday present.

As her birthday was not until March I figured this request would go the way of most grade school girl requests and be replaced by some other equally expensive desire by the time the big day actually arrived. Little did I know that my little 9 year old, going on 29 year old, already had her strategic marketing plan in place. As had been proven prior and repeatedly proven since once this girl gets her mind focused on something there are no forces known to man that will dissuade her. Plus she was a little Daddy’s girl and even though Big Frick was big then, her little finger was big enough to wrap me around it. A contortion that all three of my beloved children have become proficient enough in to the point of making it a competitive sport.

Through the coming months Jessica never missed an opportunity to stoke the Apple 2GS fire, even going so far as to tell me that all her friends had made fun of her when she said she was hoping to get one for her birthday. Her Daddy couldn’t be a party to having her ridiculed by her classmates, could he?

I had already explained to Jessica that as far as I knew these things were probably more than I could spend on a 10 year old's birthday gift. I think I even mentioned some of the things I would have gotten on my tenth birthday, something along the line of a new pair of school shoes and bag of dirt. She patiently waited until she saw my mouth stop moving and then repeated all the reasons why this would be such a smart and savvy investment on my part.

So as her birth date approached I figured I would check and see just how much one of these magic boxes cost. This was before Apple stores or even the big box stores, so if one wanted to buy a computer one had to find a computer store. I located one that was less than a day’s drive from my house and entered into the land of mega thingies and memory do dads.

I may as well have had a colored cellophane wrapper when I walked in as the salesmen literally knocked each other over to assist the blank faced sucker that just came through their doors. By today’s terms the Apple 2GS was less powerful and had less memory than your average pocket calculator. It came as a set with a big white box computer, a big white TV screen monitor, a keyboard and a mouse. The only thing I remember about its capabilities was that the salesman said this computer was about 100 times more powerful than the computer NASA used to send up the first moon landing.

The adept sales clerk rattled off all the important facts and statistics about this model though he may as well have been speaking in Chinese. None of it made any sense to me until we got to that magic time when he revealed the price of this little techno-marvel.

It was at that moment I was truly grateful I had decided to forego lunch until after my shopping visit as I doubt there could have been a subtle explanation for what would have surely happened. All this technology and they would throw in a compatible printer for right around three grand.

Three thousand dollars is a ridiculous amount to spend on a ten year old today, but in 1988 it would have taken someone completely out of their mind. Fortunately for my daughter I was just that lunatic. I negotiated a little with the salesman and finally pulled out a credit card I was pretty sure would accept that level of purchase and drove away with my head still spinning. If I recall I never did get that lunch as I feared the residual effect could have been equally tragic.

Needless to say it was a birthday present that is still fondly remember long after the computer has gone to the big memory chip in the sky.

I tell that story to say that since then Jessica has become an absolute whiz on the computer. She is able to design remarkably complex web sites and can write code to improve existing programs. It was at her insistence that I even have this blog site. She is the one that pushed me into writing in the first place and set it all up. She is the one who is constantly improving it and adding new options like the subscription box and the Team Big Frick salon. She is indeed my little web monkey. I am not certain if her motives were magnanimous in getting me to share my views with the world at large rather than just with her and my immediate friends or to simply gather enough evidence so as to be able to have me committed.

Who knew those 21 years ago that it would be an outrageous purchase that would alter her future in such a way and lead to an extraordinary path of progress and education? Who knew that a little 10 year old would grow up to be the driving force behind her father’s soon to be realized fame and fortune in the blogosphere and the real reason Al Gore invented the internet? Who knew that the language of the future would be binary and the world would be virtual?

Who knew?

I guess she did.

Shadow Boxing in the Dark

How can you fight something that isn’t there?

A law suit has been filed by a civic minded atheist named Michael Newdow to have the words “So help me God” removed from the oath of office for the upcoming presidential inauguration. He is being joined by several likeminded groups such as the American Humanist Association and the Freedom from Religion Foundation in insisting that these words be omitted and that no prayer or invocation be permitted during the swearing in ceremony.

Mr. Newdow and these other groups are preparing to go down the well trodden road of claiming that their rights as atheists are somehow being infringed upon by the inclusion of God’s name and the request for His assistance during the inauguration.

His lawsuit, an advance copy of which was conveniently posted online, claims that “There can be no purpose for placing ‘so help me God’ in an oath or sponsoring prayers to God, other than promoting a particular point of view that God exists.”

Mr. Newdow is a doctor and a lawyer and is evidently able to grasp the fairly obvious hypothesis that praying to God does indeed promote the concept that God exists. I concede councilor; I believe you broke the code on that one.

I won’t even bother debating the point that this country and its constitution are based on freedom OF religion not freedom FROM religion. What I find most interesting is that these self-made men and women find that the mere mention of God’s name somehow infringes on their beliefs. To the best of my knowledge nobody is insisting that that anybody pray along, get on their knees, fold their hands or even bow their head. Nobody is even asking that you think differently much less act differently than your beliefs dictate. So where is the unconstitutional harm? They claim that the inclusion of God’s name forces them to make a decision of either not watching the ceremony or somehow being forced to endorse God simply through the act of viewing somebody that does. Wow, that’s a bigger stretch than debating what the definition of “is” is.

Mr. Newdow is adept enough to see that his lawsuit doesn’t have a chance in hell, if there was such a place, of succeeding. “I have no doubt I’ll lose” he was quoted as saying. And he is a man who speaks from experience having already lost this same lawsuit twice prior with the inaugurations in 2001 and 2005.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe everybody has the right to seek protection from the courts if they feel they are being unconstitutionally injured. I even have a certain amount of envy in the level of faith an atheist has. To believe that something was created from nothing, that life came from a chance combination of inanimate elements and that every living thing that has ever lived, every DNA helix, every plant and animal mutated from a single nondescript water borne mother cell and that every organ, every sense, every ability and the very structure of every plant and animal was developed by some long since hidden ability for cells to determine independently how they would mutate is actually a far greater bit of faith than I am able to muster.

But I am civic minded myself and I find that a lawsuit that is filed for the sole purpose of getting your name in the paper and your face on CNN is a frivolous lawsuit. If you have filed the same suit twice before and been unsuccessful in prevailing than you should be responsible for paying the court costs of your repeated unsuccessful attempts. The constitution has not been rewritten or amended and the argument is the same. Claiming, as they do, that they deserve some special minority status is simply not legally credible. And I, as a taxpayer, don’t feel I should be expected to pay the costs of this folly.

Now, if you want to file lawsuits about politicians talking about things that are not constitutionally protected and that actually do not exist I may even join you.

Let’s start with manmade global warming and work our way from there.

Biofuelishness

“Sit back and relax” the captain said. “We will be traveling at a speed of 340 knots and an altitude of 32,000 feet. Pay no attention to the smell of burning french fries and corn chips as that is only our new biofuel engines.” At that point all they have to do is double the price of cocktails or stock the push cart with Valium and the airlines could be in the black for the first time in years.

Air New Zealand has completed their first trial run of a 747 passenger jetliner using a 50-50 biofuel/jet fuel mixture in one of its engines. This two hour trial run is being hailed as the next big step toward a greener, more environmentally friendly airline industry. "Today, we stand at the earliest stages of sustainable fuel development and an important moment in aviation history," Air New Zealand Chief Executive Rob Fyfe said after the flight.

The International Air Transport Association which represents 230 airlines stated their goal is to have 10% of all airline fuel derived from biofuels by 2017.

The Associated Press story covering this historic event used all the correct enviro-jargon including the terms: sustainable, renewable, carbon emissions, biodiesel and climate change. To read the piece one would have to draw the conclusion that the airlines are really looking at saving the planet through renewable biofuels. One would, however, be totally incorrect.

This is not about saving the planet; it’s about saving a few bucks. And because it’s about the money it is doomed to fail just like every other groundbreaking plan that ignores supply and demand economics. The nearly bankrupt airline industry is far more concerned about making payroll than about making a carbon footprint. By the way airlines should not be groundbreaking anyway, if you know what I mean.

Air New Zealand ran this trial using biofuel made from the new cash crop Jatropha. Jatropha is a bush that produces small berries. The seeds within these berries are crushed and the oil from the seeds is transformed into biofuel. They no doubt ran this trial because Virgin Atlantic Airlines ran similar biofuel tests last February using fuel made from palm and coconut oil. I’m waiting for Air Mexico to begin their trial of fueling the plane with methane gas. It might take some modifications to the passenger seats and a free burrito with every ticket, but I digress.

Jatropha is the next big cash crop in the biofuel world. India alone has already planted over 18 million acres of jatropha and has committed to a total of 30 million acres of plants by the year 2012. They have successfully run trucks and buses on the fuel and are obviously looking to cash in on the new craze.

But if $145 per barrel oil taught us anything, it taught us that this is still a supply and demand market. As demand for oil declined so did the price. Oil has gone from $145 per barrel to $40 per barrel in less than six months. I doubt oil demand has decreased 65% in that same time period but even with the modest reduction in usage we have seen the price decline enough to make a sheik weak.

The current selling price for a bushel of jatropha is just under the price of a bushel of mud. That makes it currently attractive. But if this crop catches on as the biobrains are predicting the per bushel price will jump just a dramatically as corn did with the recent ethanol boondoggle.

Any crop that has to be planted, watered, nurtured and harvested to be turned into a fuel alternative such as corn, or jatropha, or palm, or coconuts, or black eyed seedless lima beans will rise in price once it becomes popular. The corresponding reduction in crude oil usage will reduce its price making oil once again the fuel of choice for budget minded fuel buyers. Common sense dictates that dollars and cents are the driving factors in environmentally friendly business behavior.

The Al Gore approved proposal of the incoming president’s cap and trade system may further the development of biofuels until the cost becomes so prohibitive that it starts putting business out of business. At that point Al and his cronies can cash in their carbon emissions trading stamps and drive their SUV’s to their private jets and fly off to retirement.

According to the carbon emissions police the airlines are only responsible for about 2% of all the “dangerous” emissions alleged to contribute to manmade global warming. Still Greenpeace, who never misses an opportunity to misstate the facts, sent Simon Boxer their spokesman for Greenpeace New Zealand to condemn them saying it was inevitable that airlines would show greater interest in sustainable biofuels as travelers become more aware of the harm that air travel causes the environment.

Hey Simon, 2% is probably less than whale farts and Greenpeace is out in their pirate ship trying to save them!

Ken Morton, a Boeing spokesman, said he expects more airlines will embrace biofuels as emission taxes and emission cap and trade schemes are introduced. "It makes a lot of commercial sense to invest in these biofuels," said Morton. "Certainly, it is what the public wants."

What he didn’t say was that it is what Boeing wants as well so they can build and sell more of these bio-burning jet engines.

As for me when it comes to the airlines, depart on time, arrive on time, don’t lose my luggage and you can burn plutonium and Styrofoam cups in the engines for all I care.

The planet does not need to be saved from us.

But we do.